Last week, I shared a post about how I avoided total burnout this year. I hesitated before posting it. Part of me worried it might come across as a bragging post. But another part of me felt it was important to say this out loud:
Burnout doesn’t have to be a regular, inevitable part of being neurodivergent.
But it hasn’t been plain sailing. There has been a lot of trial and error :
Apps bought and dropped after a few weeks.
Physical activities I was very excited about… abandoned after a couple of months.
Systems that worked beautifully for a while and then suddenly didn’t.
And that, in itself, has been part of the learning.
I also want to be very clear: even within neurodivergence, we are all different. What works for me may not work for another AuDHD person at all. And my needs as a 55-year-old, post-menopausal woman will be different again from someone who is younger, older, male, or in a different stage of life.
Some of the things I share below I do daily, some weekly, and some only when I need them.
One big realisation this year has been this:
while the Autistic part of me loves routine, the ADHD part of me gets bored very easily. Trying to force myself into rigid systems simply doesn’t work long-term. Instead, I now rotate activities. When I come back to something I haven’t done in a while, I remember how much I enjoyed it. This approach has also saved me a lot of money on new hobbies — including resisting the urge to buy the entire kit for soap making, candle making, and make-your-own cosmetics.
Two other realisations really shifted things for me.
The first was asking myself: If I am neurodivergent, why am I still trying to do things the neurotypical way? That doesn’t actually make sense.
The second came from a sentence I read that landed deeply:
“Nobody is coming to save me.”
I didn’t take that as bleak. I took it as empowering. Nobody is going to come and meet my neurodivergent needs for me — I have to do that myself. That means putting boundaries in place, not apologising for what I need, and choosing what genuinely works for me.
So, this is what works for me at the moment.
Regulation and Nervous System Support
Fidgets
I have fidgets everywhere and use them almost all the time. I always have one on me — at work, at concerts, and in social situations. They help me self-regulate and reduce the build-up of overwhelm without me having to explain myself.
Breathing
This might sound obvious, or even a bit silly, but reminding myself to take a few deep breaths throughout the day has been surprisingly powerful. Just a few intentional breaths can pause things, slow me down, and help reset my nervous system.
A mindful cup of tea
Every morning I have a cup of tea and for about 15 minutes I do nothing else. No phone. No tasks. No planning. I drink the tea in silence (external silence, anyway). If my mind wanders, I gently bring it back to the flavour, the temperature, and the sensation of holding the cup. It’s a small but grounding daily ritual.
Meditation (twice a week)
I don’t meditate to empty my mind. I use this quiet time to check in with myself — cognitively and somatically. What thoughts are around? What does my body feel like? Body scans help me identify whether I’m anxious, sad, or overwhelmed. Once I know, I can either respond to it or let it go.
Movement (Without Pressure or Punishment)
QiGong
I’ve tried Pilates, yoga, and other practices, but QiGong is the one that genuinely slows my brain. You can’t rush it — your body has to move slowly and your breathing has to follow. I practise every day, even if it’s only five minutes, usually at the start of the day. I practise at home because I’ve learned that classes don’t work for me, and that’s okay.
Dancing
This year I realised just how important movement is for my clarity of mind and self-regulation. I dance every day at home, like nobody’s watching — because nobody is. It lifts my mood almost instantly. I even have a playlist called Feeling Good, which still makes me smile.
Walking
Walking has been hugely beneficial for my sleep, mood, and overall functioning, especially walking in nature. My dog Blu is getting older now, so I often walk alone. I aim for at least three walks a day — sometimes ten minutes, sometimes an hour, depending on time and weather. My mind is always clearer afterwards. I make these walks mindful by noticing nature, people, and movement around me.
Executive Function Support
The 10-minute method
When I’m really procrastinating, I make an agreement with myself that I will do just ten minutes of the thing I’m avoiding. Sometimes I carry on. Sometimes I stop after ten minutes. Either way, I’ve done something, and that stops the self-criticism loop. With my book, sometimes all I do is open my laptop, read a section for ten minutes, and then close it again — and even that helps.
Using AI
I know AI can be a controversial topic, and I’m mindful of its environmental impact. I don’t use it indiscriminately. But on days when my executive functioning lets me down, it can be a genuine lifeline. I use it to summarise long emails or reports, draft emails from my chaotic ADHD brain dumps, and break big tasks into smaller, manageable chunks when something feels overwhelming and meltdown-adjacent. It has been particularly helpful with my book project because it makes starting possible.
Focusmate
Focusmate is an online body-doubling platform. You book a session with another person, briefly share what you’ll be working on, and then work quietly together for a set amount of time. That gentle accountability helps me start tasks I would otherwise avoid.
A whiteboard
I bought a small whiteboard and placed it directly in front of my desk. I work online several days a week, so I can’t avoid seeing it. I write down anything important that I’m likely to forget — appointments, birthdays, ideas, reminders. It acts as an external brain.
Appointments
I don’t schedule appointments on already busy days or stack multiple appointments on the same day if I can avoid it. And if I need to, I cancel. I no longer push through just to appear “functional”.
Reducing Daily Overwhelm
Weekly meal planning
Thinking about meals, especially on days when my executive functioning is low, is overwhelming. So every Thursday my partner and I plan the week’s meals and shopping. I shop online. Supermarkets are too much for me — so why would I force myself to go?
Phone boundaries
I don’t use my phone for an hour after waking or an hour before bedtime, and I keep my phone in another room at night. Reducing phone consumption has made a significant difference. Our brains are already overstimulated — we don’t need constant bombardment from the world’s problems.
Clothes and dressing
Twice this year I cleared out my wardrobe. I now only own clothes that feel comfortable and feel like me. I no longer tolerate sensory discomfort just to look “acceptable”.
Creativity and Hands-On Activities (On Rotation)
I rotate between building book nooks, knitting, learning the steel drum, and paint-by-numbers. Rotating rather than forcing consistency keeps the enjoyment alive and stops me chasing new hobbies every few months.
Gentle Structure When I Need It
The Scheduled app
Many neurodivergent people like Finch, but it didn’t work for me. Scheduled does. I don’t use it every day — only on busy days when my executive functioning collapses, or on days off when I feel overwhelmed by choice. It helps me structure my day and then simply follow it. The 15-minute transition alerts before tasks are especially helpful.
Reflection and Processing
Journaling (Rosebud app)
I don’t journal daily. I use the Rosebud app when my thoughts feel scrambled and I need clarity. For some reason, because it’s on my phone and feels interactive, I’m more likely to use it than a paper diary. It also supports reflection and gratitude, which helps shift my perspective.
A Final Reflection
What I’ve learned this year is that when something keeps being hard, I now ask:
“How can I help myself?”
Not “How can I make myself more neurotypical?”
But “How can I support myself to be the best neurodivergent version of me?”
It’s okay to use tools.
It’s okay to adapt.
It’s okay to do life differently.